There Is No ‘Rock Bottom’ Too Deep For Jesus
Growing up, I was a rebellious child. I can’t say exactly how or why I took pleasure in seeing others suffer, but I had little regard for anyone, including myself. The consequences of my poor choices included teen pregnancy, abusive relationships, substance abuse, multiple stints in juvie rehabilitation centers, many court appearances, and so much more.
When I thought I had reached the end of my rope, I discovered that it could stretch even further. Just before I left Texas at nineteen, I had my 18-month-old son with me, and his biological father was frequently in and out of jail. I decided to leave behind my life as a dancer in the club in pursuit of something more stable.
I decided to move away, believing that I could change my life.
When I arrived in Idaho, I felt a sense of freedom! I was relieved to finally be away from the man who had almost killed me several times and who struggled to control his emotions. My son and I had a chance to start fresh, but the freedom I believed I had was just a facade that would soon show its true, troubling nature.
Two months after arriving, I found myself searching for drugs and leaving my son overnight so that I could stay out all night partying. Before I knew it, I was involved with several guys and even had a few doctor’s visits, if you know what I mean. It was a disgusting situation! This was when I realized that there was no such thing as “rock bottom,” and that the hole could always grow deeper. I felt trapped in my sin and unable to do what was right for myself.
I thought I would be fine if only I could change my circumstances! What I discovered was: I couldn’t change my heart. I needed something greater than myself to penetrate the self-deceit and self-destructive tendencies I had carried since childhood.
That’s when I met Jesus!
A friend at work shared the gospel with me, but he also showed me genuine friendship. He cared deeply for me and guided me in truth, helping me realize that my decisions were harmful not only to myself but also to my son and everyone around me.
After a few months, I surrendered my heart, mind, and soul to God. Jesus came into my life and provided me with a moral standard to live by. He transformed my heart of stone into a heart of flesh, reviving my life and saving me from death and ultimate destruction.ย He picked me up, cleaned me off, and set me on a firm foundation; Himself and His word.
My life began to change drastically, little by little. To this day, I look back and can hardly believe the person I used to be. I am so grateful that Jesus didnโt think my โrock bottomโ was too messy for His amazing grace.
Friend, if youโve read this far, maybe your life feels a little bit like mine once didโmessy, broken, and spiraling. Maybe youโve tried to fix yourself over and over again, only to fall harder each time. I get it. I tried too. But hereโs the truth I had to learn the hard way: we donโt need self-helpโwe need a Savior.
There is no rock bottom so deep that Jesus canโt reach you. No shame too heavy, no past too dirty, no sin too ugly for Him to redeem. The gospel isnโt about becoming a better personโitโs about becoming a new creation.
โTherefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.โ โ 2 Corinthians 5:17
What changed my life wasnโt trying harder. It was surrender. Real freedom didnโt come from a new place, a new boyfriend, or a better habit; it came when I finally stopped trusting myself and started trusting the One who made me.
Heโs not waiting for you to clean yourself upโHeโs waiting for you to come to Him. And when you do, Heโll take your brokenness, your regrets, your worst moments, and Heโll use them for good. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of others who need to know thereโs hope, too.
At 12 years old, my son shares stories about my past with his friends, telling them that it is evidence of God and that there is hope in a redeeming savior.
So stop striving, stop hiding, and stop running. Come to Jesus. Heโs the only One who can make all things newโand that includes you.
