Homeschooling Like Mary, Not Martha
A reflection on homeschooling for discipleship and why following Godโs leading matters more than perfect schedules, polished lesson plans, or academic achievements.
One of the strange tensions in my life is that I love watching homeschool channels built on structure and stability, even though my own life often feels like the complete opposite.
Maybe that is why we watch things that reflect what we lack. We crave the ideal, and there is something comforting about observing people who seem capable of living the kind of life we quietly wish we could create ourselves. I love the planners, the organized systems, and the perfectly color-coded lists that make everything appear calm and manageable.
Perhaps I watch those accounts because, deep down, I desire the stability and organization they represent. Or maybe I enjoy them because they create a sense of normalcy in my mind when my own life rarely feels normal at all.
God has called our family into a life that moves often and changes quickly. Over the years, we have relocated multiple times, started businesses, closed businesses, rebuilt things from the ground up, and stepped into new seasons that disrupted whatever routine we had just begun to settle into. Every time I start to believe we are finally about to experience a perfectly structured homeschool year, life shifts again.
That is exactly what happened this school year (2025โ2026).
We had just moved to Texas and were finally getting settled. For the first time in a while, I remember thinking, This is going to be the best homeschool year yet!! I was even teaching my nephew, which added a whole new layer of responsibility and made structure feel even more important.
Then, three months into the school year, we were moving again.
In the past, moments like that always made me feel as though I must be doing something wrong. I assumed that if I truly believed I was called to homeschool my children, I should also be able to hold everything together, no matter what life threw our way. Surely I should be able to keep the system running.
This year, God taught me a lesson that unexpectedly changed my perspective. Iโm thankful for it because it shows how Godโs grace comforts us in our weaknesses and limitations.
I realized that obedience to God does not always look systematic.
And success in Godโs eyes often looks very different from what we have been taught to measure success by.
When Real Life Interrupts the Plan
When I first started homeschooling, I imagined something very structured. We would have consistent start times, the curriculum would flow smoothly from August to May, and each year would build beautifully on the last.
Does that actually resonate with reality?
Iโm sure not.
I think it is safe to assume that most moms begin homeschooling with some version of this picture in mind, but it rarely unfolds exactly as we imagine. Life with God has a way of interrupting the tidy plans we carefully create.
Sometimes I even catch myself wondering if plans are necessary at all. And goalsโฆ well, donโt get me started on that.
Iโm slightly joking.
But in all seriousness, I was talking to my husband about all of this, and he dropped something profound into my lap that stopped me in my tracks.
Homeschooling Like Mary, Not Martha
I’m sure he didn’t even realize the impact of his words, but what I heard him say was, “Do you want to be like Martha or Mary in homeschooling?”
And maybe it wasn’t even my husband, but the Holy Spirit speaking through him, because it hit me like a brick wall!
In the story of Mary and Martha, Martha was busy trying to do everything she believed was right and necessary. She was serving, preparing, and making sure everything was running the way she thought it should. Meanwhile, Mary sat at Jesusโ feet, focused entirely on Him and ready to listen and respond to whatever He said.
And when Jesus responded to Marthaโs frustration, He made something very clear: Mary had chosen the better thing.
I love this analogy SO much. Even now, thinking about it makes me emotional (and I am not easily emotional).
Homeschooling Through Obedience, Not Perfection
Our homeschool life has rarely followed the ideal structure I imagined in the beginning. Instead of perfect systems and organized lesson plans, it has often been shaped by the real-life circumstances God has placed us in.
Moves, new projects, unexpected seasons of growth, and lessons that were never written in the yearly planner have all shaped the way my children and I learn together.
Over time, I have realized that some of the most meaningful things my children are learning have nothing to do with workbooks or lesson plans. They are learning what it looks like to obey God by watching their parents try to follow Him faithfully, and those are lessons with eternal value.
Sitting at the Feet of Jesus in Our Homeschool
This is the lesson God has been teaching me over the last few years: my primary goal in homeschooling is not academic performance.
That might surprise some people, because the homeschool world often celebrates incredible academic achievements. You see families with children winning national spelling bees, mastering advanced math at young ages, and collecting awards that rival anything offered in traditional schools. And let me be absolutely clear, there is nothing wrong with those accomplishments.
But for me, and whatever plan God has written for our lives, spelling bee championships are probably not part of the story. And I have had to learn to be okay with that. I have had to become comfortable with the reality that God is preparing my children for things I cannot yet see and do not fully understand.
Lessons That Donโt Come From a Workbook
The many moves and projects our family has been part of over the years have not just shaped me; they have shaped my children as well. God knew the life we would live long before we stepped into it, and He knows exactly which set of circumstances each of us needs to grow into the people He is forming us into.
For some families, God has placed them right in the middle of the spelling bee and debate team world, and that is perfectly okay. As long as they are confidently sitting at the feet of Jesus, they are exactly where they are supposed to be.
Discipling our children to know God, love Him, and learn what it means to obey Him in real life does not always happen in perfectly structured environments. Sometimes it happens when children watch their parents make difficult decisions because they believe God is leading them somewhere new. Other times it happens when life interrupts the plans we carefully made, and we have to adjust.
Those moments may not look impressive on paper, but they are shaping our children’s hearts in ways no curriculum ever could.
The Honest Trade-Offs
I also think itโs important to be honest about something.
Homeschooling has its pros and cons.
One of the greatest benefits is that I get to prioritize what my children are learning and how they learn. I get to shape their education around what matters most to our family. They see firsthand what it looks like to try to follow God with your whole heart.
But there are also trade-offs.
My children do not experience the same level of stability and structure that a traditional school environment provides. Public schools operate on a predictable system that almost never changes mid-year. Our life, on the other hand, has been filled with seasons of transition.
That doesnโt mean one path is automatically better than the other.
It simply means every family is navigating a different calling.
Loving Structure While Living a Different Calling
I still enjoy watching homeschool channels that are built on stability and routine. I admire the structure, I respect the consistency, and part of me still wishes that came more naturally in our lives. But admiration and calling are not always the same thing.
Just because something is beautiful does not mean it is what God has asked you to do.
For my family, obedience has often meant stepping into seasons that interrupt the very structure I sometimes long for.
And thatโs okay!
Because the goal of homeschooling in our home is not to build the most impressive academic portfolio. The goal is to raise children who know how to follow God, even when life doesnโt look predictable.
And sometimes the best way to teach that lesson is by letting them watch you live it.
