Homeschooling by Faith: A Personal Journey

Early Education

I grew up going to public school and, honestly, was a rebellious and troubled child. Long story short, I didn’t do well in school because I didn’t care about education at all. I didn’t have any learning disabilities; I just couldn’t care less about academics. I went from bad to worse as I became a teenager and was eventually kicked out of school entirely. I was court-ordered to finish my GED in an alternative program and “graduated” at 17. In the months following, I would become pregnant and was due a month after turning 18.

Introduction to Homeschooling

Fast-forward two years, and I found the man of my dreams! My husband and I got married, and he adopted my son. I no longer had to work and became a stay-at-home mom. His entire family was raised with a homeschooled education, and they were all very intelligent and gifted people. Our sister-in-law was my most significant influence as a stay-at-home mom and homeschooler. She was and still is one of the best homemakers I know. She homeschooled her five children (she ended up having six kids), cooked home meals, and was extremely hospitable. I was inspired by what I saw in what life could look like as a homeschooling family, but I still had a few years before I would need to begin academics with my kids; at the time, my son was only two.

Starting My Homeschool Journey

By the time I started my homeschool journey, we had moved across the country from our entire family and support system. My husband had taken a new job, I was pregnant with our third child, and our oldest was turning five. I didn’t know where to begin, and someone recommended buying a Kindergarten set from Sonlight, so that’s what I did. I waited two weeks for my set to arrive and was so excited when I got it! I pulled out all the books, reviewed the teacher’s guide, and started the program the following Monday.

After a few days of using the program, I realized it was too much for my son to take in. He was getting overwhelmed, and I was getting frustrated by how hard it was for him to grasp certain concepts. After a few weeks of trying this intensive program, my mother-in-law came for a visit and told me the program was too much for kindergarten and advised me to focus on reading, math, and writing. I set the program aside and tried other things that seemed more suitable for our child.

Depression and Anxiety

Over the years, we struggled with school because I was struggling with depression and major anxiety. Living in the Northeast was taking a toll on me; I was continuing to have babies and felt extremely isolated. We moved around a lot, so I never found a dependable support system. Not only was I struggling personally, but one of my children didn’t take to learning like the others, and schoolwork was a battle I rarely had the energy for.

The Overwhelming Burden of “DO”

For the next six years, I constantly battled with feeling like I wasn’t providing enough for my children, feeling like I was failing them, and feeling overwhelmed by the burden of educating them. After all, their education was so important to me, and I didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t grow up to succeed in life. This burden caused me to HATE homeschooling, and I was very open about this fact to anyone who asked.

Why I Homeschooled For So Long

Some may wonder why I homeschooled for so long if I was that miserable; this is a complex answer. For one, we moved around so frequently in the Northeast that I knew it wouldn’t be beneficial to switch schools constantly. We tried public school with one of our children for about four weeks and pulled him out after inappropriate talk from his teacher. I also looked into several private schools, but I had a gut feeling that I needed to keep my kids home. While I hated homeschooling, I believed in the principles. Having my kids at home was very important to me, and school only took up a fraction of our time. Anytime I looked into sending them away, I felt convinced not to do it and accepted that this was my suffering to bear.

Sometimes, you have to do things you don’t want to do, and while it was a trial, I have learned so much looking back at that season of my life. Regardless of how I felt for those few years, I wanted to walk in faith and do what I knew was right by listening to my convictions. However, convictions can change, and God had great mercy on me!

Moving Back “Home”

After 2020, we moved back home! I was so excited to return to the West Coast after being gone for so many years. However, I quickly realized I had much adjusting to do. Life was very different from before we left. We now had five children, four of whom were school-age. While my depression was slowly dissipating, I had constant anxiety attacks. I was struggling with extreme social anxiety after being isolated for so long. Halfway through the school year of 2021, my husband brought up the idea of putting them in school since we were confident we wouldn’t be moving again anytime soon. I was beyond relieved and immediately felt a weight fall from me. Following my husband’s lead caused my conviction of homeschooling our kids to decrease, but I also felt a sense of peace that I didn’t need to feel guilty about this decision. Sometimes, God may give convictions for a season and then release you from them. At other times, people can have certain convictions for their whole lives. This is all a part of the sanctification process.

A Season of Private School

After my kids went to school, I started working more in our business. I had many amazing opportunities to design and remodel several houses, which launched a tiny home business we are currently working on. The amount of personal growth I experienced during this time was truly a blessing from God. I was drowning in my anxiety, and this time of working allowed me to build my confidence back up, communicate, and interact with people again. I was very happy in this season. My kids seemed to love school, and we all thrived during this time.

A Half Year and A Full Year

While my kids were in school, I thought I would never go back to homeschooling again! I loved that they enjoyed going to school and that they were learning. I literally cried at their school performances because I felt so incredibly blessed by seeing them learn and grow. Crying is way out of character for me, but I was overcome with such gratitude that I couldn’t help it. The overwhelming feelings I had felt for so long were gone—until their second year in school ended.

At the beginning of summer, my youngest son came to me and said he wanted to homeschool again. I asked him why he didn’t want to return to school, and he said he wanted to spend more time with me. He missed being at home and felt school was too long. My daughter told me she would rather be at home, too. She didn’t like her whole day scheduled so strictly and hated waking up so early. My children’s desires are important to me, and I would consider everything they were saying. They enjoyed school, but they liked being at home better.

I started thinking about homeschooling again. I couldn’t believe it! In the following days, I thought about it constantly. I was trying to convince myself that it was a bad idea, that I couldn’t do it, and that I would become overwhelmed again.

Telling My Husband

I had so many fears, so I told my husband what I was contemplating. He was in shock! He said he never thought he’d hear me say those words. I told him I was just as shocked but thought it was the right thing to do, considering what the kids said to me. I took a few days to really consider what I was thinking and prayed about it a lot.

A Few Things I Learned

I prayed, thought about this decision, and asked God to confirm this idea somehow because He knew me better than I knew myself. While going through all my fears with the Lord, I felt God was showing me that school was a break of grace. God was faithful in showing up and helping me through a dark time. He allowed me time to grow and heal in many ways, but I knew the break was over. I was so grateful for the revelations during this time.

I realized I had become more impatient with my kids because the noise levels were down all day, and when they came home, it was so loud! I didn’t like this new reality.

I also realized that my circumstances in the Northeast greatly impacted my attitude and mood. My thoughts were negative for so long, and those negative thoughts affected my homeschooling.

One of my negative thoughts was, “I can’t do this!” I had given up and convinced myself that I could not teach my children everything they needed to know.

I had ideals and fantasies that educating my children would be easy and fun! But I didn’t realize I was putting high expectations on myself and my children for our season of life. It is so funny looking back on the information I have now because I would tell myself such different things. I feel bad for my younger self, but I think it all ended well, and that’s what really matters. Today, we have more fun homeschooling, which isn’t always easy, but we have created a routine and system that works for us.

The last lesson I’ll share with you is that my experience of early homeschooling had everything to do with the season of life I was in at the time. However, the first child I would have the experience of teaching struggled A LOT. This only compounded things and made everything that much more difficult for us. Getting to experience teaching my other children has shaped my perspective that not all kids are the same, and some need more help than others.

God Answered My Prayer

I was praying that God would show me if I were supposed to homeschool because I didn’t want to make a rash decision that I couldn’t reverse. Again, God was faithful.

I had not told my best friend that I was going to pull my kids out of school yet. Before bringing it up to her, I wanted to ensure I knew what I was doing.

The day I was going to tell her, she texted me.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading! She told me she and her husband are talking about homeschooling, and she felt God impressing it on her heart to do so.

I know this seems like nothing to anyone reading this, but my girl was adamant about not homeschooling. It was honestly a miracle that she was even considering the idea. I knew this was the confirmation I was looking for. It is a mysterious thing how the Holy Spirit impresses things on our hearts, and when you know, you know!

Homeschooling Round Two

I went back to homeschooling and, this time, with a completely different mindset. Before, I needed to homeschool for reasons that didn’t motivate or encourage me. Now, I homeschool because I know it is what God wants for my children. I walk by faith, trusting the Lord to be faithful in my children’s lives. This allowed me to change so much of what I was doing and put a more significant emphasis on character development and learning through life skills. Homeschool is a way of life. It is not to mimic the public education system. Homeschooling is a diverse experience because every child is different, every mom is different, and each family will have different needs. Homeschooling is freedom! Freedom to raise your children how you see best because you love them more than anyone ever could.

I hope my journey through homeschooling encourages anyone who feels overwhelmed or insufficient. Evaluate your expectations and focus on the basics for a while—reading, writing, and math. Character and spiritual development are just as important for raising a well-rounded child.

I hope to inspire other moms with this story. At the time of writing, I have a high schooler, a middle schooler, and three in elementary grades. I am truly happy to be homeschooling this time around, and now I know I can do it! If I can do it, so can you.