Transform Your Life and Mind With Sober Living

I used to believe that having a drink after 5 p.m. was the only way to unwind after a long day. Every day felt exhausting because I had developed a bad habit of believing that drinking would solve my problems. Waking up each morning with a fuzzy head and low energy began to take its toll on me. Additionally, there were many nights when I drank too much, leading to moments of regret and guilt as I tried to piece together my actions. I know that many people, especially in the U.S., struggle with this very same issue. After nearly a decade of excessive drinking, I discovered the freedom and clarity I had been longing for. Here are a few things I learned and how choosing sobriety can transform your life, too.

Uncovering The Lies

What once started as a social thing has become a habitual nightly routine. You didn’t need to give yourself permission to drink before because there was no problem; one glass of wine and you were done. However, those nights are gone, and now you find yourself drinking several glasses before bed almost every night. This was how it all started for me, and I know how it starts for many people. Because no one wakes up one morning and says, “I’m gonna become an alcoholic today!” Not that I was a full-blown alcoholic, but I definitely shared some characteristics.

It took me a while to wake up from my slumber and realize I was believing lies and giving myself excuses to consume so much alcohol every day. When I realized this, I was ashamed I had allowed it to go on for so long, but also, being deep into this “addiction,” I knew it was going to take a lot of effort to reshape my mind. The excuses we give ourselves to drink will differ from person to person, but here are a few lies people generally believe about drinking alcohol.

1. I will be more fun and outgoing

We’ve all heard it said, “I am more fun and social when I drink.” This may be true because alcohol is a “disinhibitor,” which means it lowers your inhibitions by affecting parts of your brain. So, technically, it might not be a “lie” that you are more fun and social when you drink, but it isn’t really you, is it? If you need a brain-altering substance to make you more fun and outgoing, it is a superficial way to approach connecting with others. You should want people to like you for who you are, not someone you wished you were. I know this is easy to grasp in thought but difficult to apply in action, especially when your friend group drinks when you go out with them. You may have to stop going out with them or hanging out in the evenings when it is more tempting to drink if you don’t have the self-control to say “no” yet.

I am one of the most outgoing people I know and have used this excuse, too! So it isn’t JUST for the introvert. The reason I believed I needed to drink to have more fun was really because of FOMO (fear of missing out). Everything seems more funny when you have a few glasses of wine. But really, I just acted obnoxiously and did really stupid s%*#.

Stop believing the lie that you need to be different from who you naturally are. Operating, in reality, is far better than living in a false world where you create superficial relationships and versions of yourself.

2. This will help me unwind

Again, while this may appear true at face value because of alcohol’s effect on the brain, it is a crutch to avoid challenges you face during the day, which turns into a dependency on substances rather than facing your problems straight on. Alcohol only provides temporary relief by disrupting neurotransmitters in your brain, but studies show this affects brain balance and can lead to more stress and anxiety over time. Using substances (or video games, social media, porn, etc.) to cope with stress is unhealthy if they do not help you process and overcome the overwhelming challenges you face.

Facing your problems will be the more challenging route, for sure, but here are some things you could do to relieve stress or anxiety that have been proven actually to help:
Physical Activity: Running, boxing, Cross-Fit, weight lifting, hiking, sports.
Mindfulness: Journaling, meditations, reflections, calming music.
Engage in life: Take up a hobby, bake, clean the house, play a board game.
Prioritize sleep and rest.

3. I can control when I drink

We often think we have more control over things than we actually do. Alcohol is addictive, and the line between casual drinking and excessive drinking gets crossed quickly. Like anything addictive, what starts as a once-and-a-while thing turns into something you no longer control. The illusion of being in control keeps people stuck in their harmful choices; this is why AA makes people confess they are addicts. While I think the confession part is good and necessary to overcome the problem, I don’t think people must stay defined by their struggles. You can overcome alcohol addiction, and while people might be at different stages of that process, with the right help, you can heal your brain and never touch alcohol again.

Some characteristics of dependency:
1. You use alcohol to cope.
2. You have the urge to drink or crave a drink almost every day if not every day.
3. You are unable to limit the number of drinks you have.
4. Your tolerance is higher; you can drink more without feeling buzzed.
5. Alcohol-related consequences.

If you identify with any of the characteristics listed above, ask for help or talk to a friend/family member who will help hold you accountable to not drink. Sometimes, admitting out loud that you could have a problem with drinking is the first step to healing.

4. Everyone is doing it!

Oh, how I resonate with this excuse so much. It is one of the hardest things to overcome when your entire social group drinks. But the reality is that there are a lot of people who don’t drink. Many individuals choose to live sober lifestyles, and I have heard this trend is occurring among younger generations who are opting for healthier lives by excluding alcohol entirely. The idea that everyone must be drinking is fueled by the media, commercials, and the friend group you so happen to be surrounded by.

Again, uncovering the lies you believe or excuses you give yourself to drink may involve analyzing your friend group and asking yourself if you need a little separation. Overall, the freedom gained from understanding the reasons behind your drinking habits allows you to feel like you no longer “need” alcohol to relax or have fun. When I stopped drinking, I realized that I am enjoyable to be around by the people who love me without needing alcohol. Giving up drinking every night helped me see that my problems were still present in the morning, which made me realize I needed to find other ways to cope with them instead of using bandaids to cover them up.

Your Health

After struggling with alcohol for so long, I’ve realized that the mental clarity I experience when I don’t drink is reason enough for me to stop entirely. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t enjoy waking up with brain fog, making poor decisions, and feeling low on energy. During the first week of not drinking alcohol, I noticed an increase in creativity, motivation, and productivity as I detoxed my mind.

MENTAL, Emotional, Relational, Physical

As people bring more awareness to mental health these days, I think it is safe to ask if consuming too much alcohol is something you need to let go of for your mental and emotional well-being. At the end of 2024, I decided that I wanted 2025 to be the year I focused on all things health and wellness, which meant I was committing to giving up alcohol for an entire year! Three weeks into the new year, I already see many benefits! I have a clearer perspective on my goals and dreams. I’m also gaining confidence in being my authentic self; no alcohol is needed.

Drinking alcohol regularly can disrupt your mood because it affects brain pathways. As a woman who already deals with mood swings and tends to be aggressive, I noticed that I became irritable more easily after having a few glasses of wine. I know other women who argue more with their spouse after a few drinks than when they are sober. When your inhibitions are lowered, so is your control over what you say. Living a sober life helps you regain control over your mental and emotional health.

Not to mention how regular use of alcohol weakens the immune system, making it harder to fight sicknesses or making you more likely to get sick. It causes weight gain and heart problems and disrupts your liver function. Overall, you are feeding your body poison, causing it to work really hard to push out the toxins; if not corrected, the damage can become irreversible in your body and your relationships, too.

After several years of drinking, I noticed that my clothes no longer fit the same way. My face often appeared puffy, regardless of how much water I would drink in the morning after a night of binge drinking. Over the course of two years, I stopped working out regularly and eating a healthy diet due to the junk food I consumed while drinking.
As a result, I gained fifteen pounds. Since I began prioritizing my physical health, I’ve seen a significant increase in my energy levels, and my time at the gym has become much more effective. I now eat healthy again and have learned how to manage my snack cravings. The same can be true for you, too!!

I know how impossible it can seem for alcohol not to be a part of your life. Trust me, in the first several months of trying to be sober, I failed many times. But now that I have experienced so many positive changes in my life, I don’t ever want to drink again. I don’t think alcohol is bad; I believe it is a privilege, and I lost the opportunity to use it because of my years of excessive use. If you feel this way, too, and need help on your sobriety journey, reach out to me! I would love to help support you. Share your experiences below on the freedom of living a sober lifestyle.