12 Habits Christian Women May Want to Avoid for Spiritual Growth

For women seeking spiritual maturity, discernment, and a deeper relationship with God, examining everyday habits is an important part of discipleship. In this article, we’ll look at common habits Christian women may want to avoid for spiritual growth, not from a place of legalism or condemnation, but with grace, wisdom, and openness to the Holy Spirit’s leading.

I was hesitant to write this article because any time we see a list of things we “shouldn’t” do, it can be interpreted in many ways. Some people find lists like this burdensome, exhausting, or legalistic. Others feel an unrealistic pressure to change everything about themselves all at once if they recognize a few of these patterns in their own lives. Neither of those things is my intention. I don’t want anyone to feel shame or condemnation, or to fall into a self-deprecating cycle. At the same time, I don’t want Christians to have “nonchalant” attitudes about spiritually immature patterns or behaviors.

My goal is simple: I want to see women grow in maturity as they walk with Christ; this requires us to examine our habits and ask, “Do I do this, Lord?”

Most habits do not show up overnight; they creep in unannounced. They often seem harmless, but over time, they shape our attitudes, responses, and even our speech. For example, I do not believe secular music is inherently sinful. Still, I have noticed the effect certain songs can have on my attitude and how I speak when I listen to them for extended periods of time. As Scripture reminds us, from the heart, the mouth speaks.

Spiritual growth requires us to let go of things that may not seem sinful on the surface, but slowly cause us to drift from God or dull our love for others. This list is an invitation. Let us look at it honestly, with grace, and remain open to where the Spirit may be gently leading us.

1. Watching Television That Promotes Constant Drama

What we watch has a significant impact on us. Television shows and movies that focus on drama can desensitize us to real-life consequences, making us more likely to either engage in or seek out drama ourselves. It’s not just about watching a single movie or show. When we regularly indulge in this type of content, we are training ourselves to crave dramatic outcomes. If you realize that watching these dramatic shows leads you to gossip, talk negatively about others, or meddle, it might be a good idea to take a break from that type of content for a while.

2. Treating Devotionals as Substitutes for Scripture

Devotionals have their place, but we shouldn’t replace reading Scripture on its own. The Holy Spirit speaks directly to us through His Word, and we want to know what God has for us without commentary. Devotionals are what God has taught other people, and they are sharing it with you. Which is great, but God wants to speak directly to you, too. It can be tempting to rely on devotions because they give us meaning, answers, or maybe go deeper than what we feel we can do on our own. But the truth is, we are not to quench the Spirit. We are not to suppress what the Holy Spirit would like to reveal to us through reading the Scriptures on our own. Also, the only way to get better at discerning the Word and going deeper in context is by practicing the art of study yourself. Save devotions for specific periods of time, but don’t use them for the majority of your daily reading.

3. Numbing Stress With Food, Shopping, Alcohol, Social Media, or Television

This temptation is so easy to fall into. Let’s be real, life is so hard. And we want things that make us feel good or immediately take away the pain. When we depend on these things as comfort, they can become idols in our lives. Slowly, we push God and prayer out and usher in all kinds of problems that will only add to our pain. We have to face our situation with the power of Christ and work on whatever God wants to teach us in any given season. When we realize that shopping, food, or social media has become a stumbling block, we must cut it off immediately.

4. Over-Sharing Without Discernment

This habit can lead to broken relationships and hurt feelings. Often, we want to share what is happening in our lives with everyone, but the reality is that not everyone can help us or guide us. When we over-share with immature or new Christians, they can give poor advice, or worse, judge your situation from a position of self-righteousness, not of grace and mercy. My advice for spiritual growth is to talk to God about your problems, concerns, or worries first, and if you still feel you need to share, tell one or two trusted people who love and care for you. Resist the urge to confide in people who are acquaintances or don’t actually walk with you in your daily life.

5. Avoiding Biblical Confrontation in Order Not to Offend

Nobody likes confrontation. I repeat, nobody likes confrontation. However, we need to be willing to stand up for what we believe is right, good, and true. Ignoring the truth of the gospel or failing to address false teachings allows wolves to deceive vulnerable sheep in God’s pasture. It may take practice, but pray for boldness! Spiritual growth happens when we step out in faith.

6. Expecting Others to Meet Needs That Only God Can Meet

Spiritual immaturity often shows up in the expectations we place on others. People will disappoint us. The sooner we accept this reality, the quicker we can thrive in our relationships. Your husband is going to fail you, your parents are going to let you down, and your best friends are going to disappoint you. Let grace and mercy abound. Put off the mindset that expects people to meet your needs, and put your hope and faith in the only one who can satisfy you: Jesus. Let the word “mercy” be written on your heart for all your relationships.

7. Confusing Tradition With Obedience

Traditions are great! But obeying God in all things is better. You may be reluctant to celebrate a tradition because you don’t believe it honors God; listen to that conviction. You may celebrate man-made traditions, though they aren’t in Scripture or any early church history; that’s okay, too. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with either position, but God cares more that you adhere to His Word and His leading than whether or not you celebrate a tradition. My point is, let all that you do be done in faith, not legalism.

8. Saying “Yes” Out of Compulsion Rather Than Conviction

Performing tasks out of a sense of duty can sometimes be seen as honorable. It gives off the impression of “I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do.” However, what if God desires us to act out of love and conviction rather than merely out of duty or routine? When we serve others, it should come from a genuine desire to give our time and resources, not from fear or mindless repetition. This approach doesn’t truly bring joy to the Father when His children are saying “yes” out of reluctance rather than conviction.

9. Listening to Music That Glorifies Sexual Immorality or Crude Language

Have you heard the saying, “You are what you eat?” It means that what we consume affects our health and well-being. The same applies to the entertainment we enjoy; it influences our thoughts and actions. Listening to certain songs repeatedly can shape our beliefs and behaviors. Many studies show that music plays a key role in shaping culture and identity. If we frequently hear explicit or crude lyrics, we might not realize their negative impact, but they can normalize unhealthy ideas and attitudes. This is especially evident in hip-hop culture, where the glorification of risky behavior can lead to increased drug use, sexual activity, and crime among young people. These influences can carry into adulthood. As Christians, if we believe sexual immorality is wrong, we might want to consider avoiding any music, conversations, or entertainment that suggests it’s acceptable.

10. Practicing Selective Obedience Based on Comfort

As Christians, we will be asked to do things that we do not want to do. God desires sincerity in our service, not just a sense of obligation. He calls us to seek opportunities to serve others and respond to His guidance, even when it pushes us beyond our limits and beyond our comfort zone. Our journey of faith involves surrendering our desire for comfort in favor of obedience to God’s will. This might manifest in small yet significant ways, such as waking up at 6 a.m. to pray with a friend or opening our homes twice a week to welcome families for fellowship. Whatever it is, don’t be selective in what you are willing to do for God based on your comfort! Challenge yourself and see how much you grow and how God uses you in the future.

11. Treating Conviction as Condemnation

As a parent of five, I have different expectations for each child based on their maturity and situations. God does the same with us; He understands our struggles and unique experiences. He may ask us to give up certain things that aren’t clear in Scripture, which reflects our personal relationship with Him, and we shouldn’t judge others for their choices. For example, some stop doing yoga because they believe it connects to New Age practices and occult worship, while others do it simply for health reasons and see nothing wrong with it. Both views are valid, and neither should be condemned. Sadly, this is something I see far too often.

12. Correcting Others Before Examining Yourself

If I had a dollar for every time I corrected my husband without first examining myself, I would probably be a millionaire! I can be so critical of my husband at times! Undeserving, I feel the Holy Spirit gently show me I’m exactly the same!

There is a reason the Scriptures say in Matthew 7:3-5, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your brother’s eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

We have a habit of wanting to correct others’ behavior without first looking inward. This habit can be destructive and even toxic in relationships. The last thing anyone wants is to be corrected by someone who does the same thing they are trying to call out; that’s what makes them a hypocrite. We must first look inward and not be oblivious to our own shortcomings.

A Closing Reflection

We must continually reflect on these sneaky little habits and adjust our mindset to align with Christ-like character. The habits we’ve outlined above are not only detrimental to ourselves but can also ruin our Christian witness if left unchecked. George Müller famously wrote, “Wasted time is unbecoming of a saint who has been bought by the precious blood of Jesus.” If we replace “wasted time” with any of these habits, the essence of the quote still holds true. We do not want to be unbecoming saints who have been bought by the precious blood of Jesus.

Share in the comments below what stood out to you in this article, or which habits you feel God is working on in your life lately.